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what to do if you think your child has been molested

If You Suspect A Child Is Being Harmed

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If yous are concerned that a child is a victim of abuse, you lot may non exist sure what to exercise or how to respond. Child sexual abuse is a law-breaking that oftentimes goes undetected. No matter what your role is—parent or other family member, coach, teacher, religious leader, babysitter—yous have the power to make a positive divergence in this kid'south life.

ane. Recognize the signs

The signs of abuse aren't ever obvious, and learning the warning signs of kid sexual abuse could be life saving. You might detect behavioral or physical changes that could point a child is being abused. Some of these warning signs include:

  • Behavioral signs: Shrinking away from or seeming threatened by physical contact, regressive behaviors like thumb sucking, changing hygiene routines such as refusing to bathe or bathing excessively, age-inappropriate sexual behaviors, sleep disturbances, or nightmares
  • Concrete signs: Bruising or swelling near the genital area, blood on sheets or undergarments, or broken basic
  • Exact cues: Using words or phrases that are "also developed" for their age, unexplained silence, or of a sudden being less talkative

2. Talk to the child

If you are concerned about abuse, talk to the child. Keep in heed a few guidelines to create a non-threatening environs where the child may be more probable to open up to you lot.

  • Pick your time and identify carefully. Choose a space where the kid is comfortable or ask them where they'd similar to talk. Avoid talking in front end of someone who may be causing the harm.
  • Be aware of your tone. If yous start the conversation in a serious tone, yous may scare the child, and they may be more probable to give you the answers they think you desire to hear—rather than the truth. Try to make the conversation more casual. A non-threatening tone will assistance put the kid at ease and ultimately provide y'all with more accurate information.
  • Talk to the child directly. Ask questions that utilise the kid's own vocabulary, simply that are a little vague. For instance, "Has someone been touching you?" In this context "touching" can mean unlike things, but it is likely a word the kid is familiar with. The child tin respond with questions or comments to aid yous better judge the situation similar, "No one touches me except my mom at bath time," or "Yous hateful similar the fashion my cousin touches me sometimes?" Understand that sexual abuse can feel good to the kid, so asking if someone is "hurting" them may not bring out the information that you are looking for.
  • Listen and follow up. Allow the kid to talk freely. Wait for them to pause, so follow upward on points that fabricated you experience concerned.
  • Avoid judgment and blame. Avoid placing arraign by using "I" questions and statements. Rather than outset your chat past proverb, "You said something that made me worry…" consider starting your conversation with the word "I." For example: "I am concerned because I heard you say that you lot are not allowed to slumber in your bed by yourself."
  • Reassure the child. Make certain that the kid knows that they are not in trouble. Allow them know you are simply asking questions because you are concerned well-nigh them.
  • Exist patient. Remember that this conversation may be very frightening for the kid. Many perpetrators make threats about what will happen if someone finds out virtually the corruption. They may tell a child that they volition be put into foster care or threaten them or their loved ones with physical violence.

iii. Report information technology

Reporting a law-breaking like sexual abuse may not be easy, and it tin exist emotionally draining. Keep in mind that reporting abuse gives yous the hazard to protect someone who can't protect themselves. Depending on where you live and your part in the child's life, you may be legally obligated to report suspicions of abuse. You can learn more almost the laws in your state by visiting RAINN's State Law Database.

Before you report

  • Tell the child that you're going to talk to someone who can help. Be articulate that you are not asking their permission. 
The kid may not want yous to report and may be frightened, especially if the perpetrator has threatened them or their loved ones. Remember that by reporting, you lot are involving authorities who will exist able to keep the child condom.
  • Ensure that the child is in a safe place. If you accept concerns over the kid's safe, be sure to discuss them explicitly with authorities when you lot make the report. If yous fear that the perpetrator will cause further harm to the child upon learning about the investigation, clearly communicate this to authorities.
  • If you are not concerned that the parents are causing harm, you tin can consult with them prior to making a report to authorities.
  • If you are a parent and are concerned that your partner or someone in your family may be hurting your kid, this may be a very difficult fourth dimension. It's of import to be in that location for your child, and it's as well important to accept care of yourself. Acquire more than well-nigh beingness a parent to a child who has experienced sexual corruption and how to practice self-care.
  • Prepare your thoughts. Yous will probable be asked identifying information about the child, the nature of the corruption, and your relationship with the child. While anonymous tips are always an option, identified reporting increases the likelihood of prosecuting the perpetrator.

Where to written report

  • If you know or suspect that a child has been sexually assaulted or abused you can written report these crimes to the proper authorities, such equally Child Protective Services. Reporting agencies vary from state to state. To meet where to report to in your state, visit RAINN'south State Law Database.
  • Phone call or text the Childhelp National Abuse Hotline at 800.422.4453 to be connected with a trained volunteer. Childhelp Hotline crisis counselors tin can't make the report for you, but they can walk you lot through the procedure and let you know what to expect.

After y'all report

  • You may non hear or see signs of an investigation right abroad. Depending on an bureau's policies and your relationship to the child, you may be able to call up to follow upwardly after a few days.
  • If yous are able to, keep to play the supportive role you always take in that child's life. If making the report ways that y'all can't have this relationship anymore, know that by reporting you are helping that child stay safe.
  • Take intendance of yourself. Reporting sexual corruption isn't like shooting fish in a barrel. It's of import to do self-care during this time.

To speak with someone who is trained to help, call the National Sexual Assault Hotline at 800.656.Hope (4673) or chat online at online.rainn.org.

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Source: https://www.rainn.org/articles/if-you-suspect-child-being-harmed